Tale of the 4 Ghosts & The Emotional Alchemist (Part 1)
Letters From the Intuition Empire
Letter 3 From The Intuitive Queen (AKA Jenn 2.0, Fully Oxygenated, Jennifer R. Young)
Dear Intuitive Readers -
Welcome back! Today I’d like to broach an important topic: intuition and relationships.
I’ll start with romantic relationships, because let’s face it—it’s the holidays! Whether it’s in ads, the Hallmark channel, or via our social media feeds, we’re inundated with happy shiny faces of couples immersed in happy holiday coupledom. We see them frolicking amongst the snow and building handmade decorations together.
How do we use our intuition to achieve the same? (Minus the homemade ornaments, no thanks. The snow sounds good; I could frolic!)
And if you’re already in a blissful long-term relationship and can’t think of someone who struggles with this, you may ponder: who can benefit from this blog?
Well, you need look no further than in my review mirror in the picture above: the answer is me!
I am notorious for having a history of not following my intuition and picking the wrong man for a relationship.
A few months ago, I even quipped that next time I will let my cat, Shadow (a very sage, intuitive Tuxedo cat, whose ancestors probably have some impressive statues in Egypt), pick out my next boyfriend, as he would probably do a better job of it!
Shadow, my intuitive cat, pondering who to pick as my perfect romantic match!
In my defense, I wasn’t fully oxygenated during my previous choices (read about why in Just Breathe and Transformation Time). It’s now my solemn vow to make intuitive decisions in all my relationships, including the romantic ones.
Before I tell you how I’m going to do that, I want to first tell you what happened to me when I DID NOT make intuitive dating decisions.
Unless we look back in life at what went wrong, we’re destined to repeat the same cycle over and over. Trust me, prior to 2004, I have a well-documented track record of doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results! Since it’s a blog, not a book, we’ll just examine my recent past only. Which brings me to my point: the 4 ghosts of 2024!
4 Ghosts in One Year: Oh My!
This year, I didn’t follow my intuition when dating.
So, what happened?
Well, I was visited by 4 ghosts—each disguised as a potential romantic mate! According to modern dating terminology, ghosting occurs when you are in a dating or in a relationship, and one day your partner just disappears—poof—without explanation.
You’re left with lots of questions and no closure. It is extremely rude.
I didn’t even realize that I was being ghosted on the regular until the 3rd ghosting occurred. It was the most appallingly egregious ghosting because it happened to me amidst of my intuitive medical odyssey.
Let me paint the picture for you. The day after my then-boyfriend picked me up from my first hospital stint, I realized he was not doing what a loving boyfriend should: he was not standing on my porch on Labor Day weekend with a bouquet of flowers or a pot of soup. Not curled up by my side watching movies or Netflix with me or waiting on me as I did on him on the regular.
Instead, I was alone, staring at my suspiciously silent cell phone pondering very deep philosophical thoughts, such as: Where is he? Why didn’t he call me or text me to check on my health? And why is this happening when I can barely breath? And is he still actually alive?
We had a minor scuffle the day prior about something odd: the cleanliness of my laundry room (???) and his inability to pick me up from the hospital without flirting with a nurse as I was standing up from a wheelchair waiting to be helped into his car (?!?*&%). Thus, I patiently waited for the apologizing and the caretaking to commence. It never did; he simply vanished into thin air.
That Sunday, my then 16-year-old, sagely said, “Mom, I wouldn’t pick up my worst enemy from the hospital and drop them off without checking on them the next day and bringing them food. It’s been two days—where is he? He has no excuse.”
Moonstruck: Life Lessons Learned
Later that week, when my sons were upstairs doing homework, I queued up a movie I haven’t thought of in years: “Moonstruck.” I watched It twice and learned 3 important life lessons.
First, I learned that Olympia Dukakis was not only one hell of an actress, but that breakfast she made in that one scene (for Cher, who played her daughter), an egg inside a piece of toast with a hole in it, is pure genius. I’ve cooked it and it’s delicious, plus it keeps the egg from spreading everywhere.
Second, I learned that sobbing requires both a lot of oxygen and tears. The scene in which Cher and Nicholas Cage (who, come to think of it, might benefit from my blog about intuitive dating), go to the opera, La Boehme, reminded me that I’d just given my boyfriend opera tickets (to see La Boheme) for his birthday, just 6 days before he ghosted me.
It also made me realize in that moment that we’d probably never go to the opera together in October. Suddenly I wanted to sob a bit but couldn’t. Sobbing takes more air than I had at that time. Unbeknownst to me, I only had 20 percent of my airway free to dedicate to both breathing and crying.
Instead, I mastered the art of silent tears. Like a Hollywood actor—I allowed two delicate silent streams of tears down, one per cheek.
My third life lesson came to me intuitively and it was a big one. So, if you are sleeping out there, please sit up, stretch, and try to focus because this is the most important part of today’s blog: the turning point.
I suddenly realized that this feeling I was having, this emotional feeling, was just energy. Sadness, while sad and painful, is an emotion and emotion is energy. At that exact moment, these words intuitively came into my mind: emotional alchemist.
Birth of an Emotional Alchemist
That’s it! I thought, by God, I know what I want to be (in addition to being a compassionate warrior, and The Intuitive Queen,)—an emotional alchemist!
I decided to feel all my sadness, and then take that negative energy and transmute it into something extremely positive.
It makes sense, right? If my hybrid car can collect kinetic energy from the energy that I exert by pressing my foot on the break and use to run systems in my car, and if some people can take furniture and repurpose it or create art out of recycling materials, why can’t I alchemize emotion?
SFTR: Sit, Feel, Transmute, and Release!
Some say that the Latin root of the modern emotion is emouvere, which means "to move through or move out," thus, emotion is energy in motion. So, I sat and let that sadness move through me.
I didn’t want to repress my sadness, and I certainly couldn’t run from it. You know the song “Goody Two Shoes,” by Adam Ant? “Don’t drink, don’t smoke, what do you do?”
Yeah, that’s me; so, running from the pain and turning to addictions was right out.
I dried my tear-streaked cheeks, sat up in my best mediation pose, closed my eyes, and I chose to visualize that energy as a ball of darkness and then turned it into light.
What could I do with this huge amount of positive energy that I’d harnessed from my heartbreak?
Then, an idea infused my brain with happiness. I decided to turn the negative energy created when my now ex-boyfriend ghosted me, into positive energy that I would use to build the foundation of my new blog and business: The Intuition Empire!
Yes, sitting there on my couch, my eyes lighted up with the joy of all that positive energy!
I suddenly had visions of business plans, blogs, an LLC, and a myriad of other creatively delicious details dancing in my head!
I’ve tried most of my life to help people, to listen to them, and comfort them. But it’s a slow process to help one person at a time.
What if I took my spiritual gifts (writing, intuition, communication) to a new level on a platform where I could someday reach 100s or 1,000s of people?
Then, I stopped and realized that my recent ex-boyfriend was only the 3rd of 4 ghosts this year!
What to do? Well poor Ebenezer Scrooge couldn’t hide from his ghosts in A Christmas Carol. He had to listen to each of them and learn a lesson before they disappeared.
I quickly devised a plan. I would stop and face my ghosts: first name them; then confront them (in the 5D – in my head) and ask them what they were supposed to teach me. Then I’d alchemize the negative emotional energy into positive energy and release it back into the universe!
Okay, you’re probably then thinking of the three ghosts in the Christmas Carol and how Scrooge confronts them in chronological order: past, present, and future.
Well, I’m not Scrooge; I’m a blonde, beach-loving intuitive queen, with a flair for writing and for applying glittery makeup and accessories. Truly, there’s no comparison! Thus, I will go through the first three ghosts backwards because that is the order in which I confronted them. And I shall give them all pseudonyms to protect the (not-so?) innocent!
Ghost #3: Anthony (Love at First Sight)
I decided to name ghost #3 Anthony; only he will understand why.
I never believed in love at first sight until I met Anthony. I took one look at his eyes, which are exactly like mine, and I felt like I’d known him from many lifetimes. Meeting him felt like more of a reunion than an introduction. When he disappeared during my hour of need (the day after he brought me home from hospital visit #1), it truly broke my heart; it was unexpected and atrociously timed.
So, I asked myself, what did I have to learn from him?
I learned it’s past time to retire my rose-colored glasses. I tend to look at partners not at where they are today, but who they would be if they healed old wounds. I fell in love with the Anthony of tomorrow—not of today. I saw red flags; but rather than pivot, I collected the flags and sewed them up together into a red blanket that I happily wrapped around my shoulders.
Could I blame this on low oxygen? Perhaps. Our brains are funny that way, requiring full oxygen to help us make good decisions. Or was it a long-standing pattern of mine that needed to be released?
Second, I learned that I need to be careful of whom I give unconditional love to. I became an over giver and he mistook my kind heart with naiveté and saw it as an invitation to deceive me, manipulate me, and take advantage of me.
Third, I learned that no matter how nice you are, niceness is not necessarily contagious! You can catch a cold or the flu, but can you catch thoughtfulness?
For example: the Tuesday before Labor Day, I worked and used my lunch break to bake Anthony his favorite buffalo chicken dip in my favorite pink pan, for our what was supposed to be our date night.
Instead of date-night, Anthony drove me to the walk-in. And while I was in the hospital, I told him to go take the dip home with him so it would not go to waste, and so he would be fed for days. Do you think to this day he has returned my pan or that he has made me a meal during my subsequent hospital trips, bedrest, or surgery? No.
If you ever have a partner treat you with such disrespect, I want you to stand up, look your selfish soon-to-be-ex squarely in the eyes and say, “Buffalo chicken dip!” and walk out.
Your ex will have no idea what you are saying or why, but you can leave them with your head held high, for you and I will both know what it means. It’s code for, “I deserve more” and “you don’t deserve me!”
There is not arguing with someone who is blinded by ego. If he or she is self-centered enough to treat you disrespectfully, don’t argue with crazy. Let your intuition guide you the heck out of there!
Confronting Anthony was part of my healing. After the 9th day of ghosting, I wrote to him. I let him know if his music aspirations failed, he should consider a career in acting as he had me fooled that he truly loved me. I told him his treatment of me was abysmal and I deserved better; he gave me breadcrumbs and frankly, I deserve the whole loaf.
Then, I made a vow to myself that this ghosting would not affect my self-image, for no one defines me but me and God. Instead, as I explained earlier, I did a little emotional alchemy and used the positive energy towards building my empire.
To Be Continued...
Next Week, Part 2: Hear about ghosts 2, 1, & 4 and find out how I’m using my intuition to prepare for my next relationship!
Songs I listened to while writing this blog:
· Don’t Start Now, by Dua Lipa
· Same Old Love, by Selena Gomez
· I Will Survive, by Gloria Gaynor
Until then dear readers!
Love,
The Intuitive Queen
AKA Jenn 2.0, Fully Oxygenated,
The Emotional Alchemist,
Jennifer R. Young
Me, in front of Teatro Massimo, the Opera House, Palermo, Sicily, Thanksgiving, 2022. It wasn’t my first opera, it won’t be my last–with or without a date!