The Positive Side: Tale of the 4 Ghosts & The Emotional Alchemist, Part 2
Letter 4 From the Intuitive Queen
My Dear Intuitive Readers:
It’s about that time! Time to wish my remaining ghosts “adieu,” and then use my intuition to find the positive in these experiences.
Ghost #2: Leonardo
They say actions speak louder than words, right? Well, then you would think that ghost #2, “Leonardo,” must have really cared. After all, earlier this year, a man I dated in 2021, drove across two states just to take me out for a steak dinner date in Rehoboth. It was a delicious steak and we had great conversation. However, he noticed that I struggled to breathe while walking to the restaurant from the car.
I explained that I had a doctor’s appointment that Friday to figure out the source of my breathing issues. Leonardo promised to call me after my appointment Friday to see how it went because he was so worried about me.
Well, he was “so worried” it took him 6 weeks to pick up his phone to text me—without any explanation of what took him so long to use the device that is literally attached to him 24x7. So, I didn’t respond. Frankly, I was too focused on trying to figure out my breathing problems.
What did I learn from him? Just because the past wants to come back, doesn’t mean it’s a good idea. He was never true to his word; always making promises he could not deliver on. I learned to watch people’s actions in relationships and make sure they’re in alignment with their words. Later in the year, he apologized. I got closure and then my intuition told me to leave him where he belonged: in the past.
Ghost #1: Paco
Some ghosts take longer than others to release. Take ghost #1, “Paco.” We have known each other for almost two decades. Let’s say we have some family ties, so a complete ghosting is impossible.
Whilst I lay waiting for surgery in the hospital, Paco kept complaining about Anthony, aka ghost #3 (who was featured in Part 1 of this two-part blog). He lamented that Anthony should be there, and said how horrible it is to ghost someone.
I couldn’t help but balk: Anthony had known me less than 6 months and ghosted me. But Paco knew me more than 18 years and he himself had ghosted me earlier in the year!
I pointed this out. He rationalized, apologized, and said we have broken up and gotten back together 3 times. Smiling he added, “You love breaking up and getting back together.”
“Actually no, no I don’t,” I said. “And it will never happen again. Don’t ever ask me out again. Don’t even think about it, let alone do it.”
What did I learn from Paco?
First, while 3 strikes and you’re out may work in baseball, it does not work when dating. If it didn’t work the first or second time, then what makes the 3rd time different? I learned that I should always listen to my inner voice, because that intuitive voice inside me is from God. My intuition told me the last two times to turn Paco down—but I ignored it. Lesson learned. This time, I set Paco free and turned that all of that energy into positive prose.
Ghost #4: Jean Luc
Ah, ghost #4—Jean-Luc. He was the least offensive of the ghosts, and I really had some hope for him.
After my surgery, this friend and I made plans for a dinner. Jean-Luc was careless with his word. He’d say, “I’ll call and text you later tonight,” and then disappear. After this happened 2 or 3 times and I confronted him. He apologized and said he would never do it again.
Thus, I pondered this question: Are ghosts redeemable?
I decided to give him another chance. But then when we postponed our dinner date due to some gossip amongst our mutual friends, I waited a bit. Then, I reached out a few weeks later to see how he was—no response. Poof, he disappeared for good.
I learned that not all ghosts are redeemable. I also learned that if someone has communication issues and has a hard time being consistent from the jump, it's not a good idea to turn a blind eye to it. We put our best foot forward in the beginning; if there are issues from the start, they are mostly likely not going to change.
Goodbye, Jean-Luc. I’m turning that energy into a positive thought: there are 165.8 million men in America, and he helped me get one step closer to meeting the Clyde to my Bonnie.
Cleaning Up Negative Thoughts About Relationships, With Help From Carol Burnett's Cartoon Cleaning Lady
One of my ghosts, said, maybe I have a “negative mindset when it came to relationships.” Thus, while I say I want to have a successful long-term relationship, maybe my negative thoughts about the outcomes of these relationships were blocking my manifestations.
To successfully manifest anything, your thoughts must match your manifestation. Our brains believe what we tell them, and I was telling my brain a bunch of crap about dating. I was standing in my own way. Being such a positive person in all other areas of my life, I was shocked to realize this. However, I am willing to take ownership of it and face it head on.
I decided it was time to clean up my brain and remove these old negative relationship mindsets. And of course, I immediately thought of who could help me: the cleaning lady cartoon character from the Carol Burnett Show!
She was one of my favorite parts of that show. I realize that not all of you reading are even old enough to remember the Carol Burnett Show or her cartoon cleaning lady character who was shown at the end of each episode cleaning the stage in the spotlight!
Here is a clip of this cleaning lady so you know what I’m talking about.
Now that you understand who Carol Burnett’s cleaning lady is, I can tell you how she helped me. I sat down and closed my eyes. I am very visual, so I pictured this cleaning lady standing up on a big stage inside my head. Instead of just mopping the stage, I asked her to take out all the trash.
I also imagined 4 big bags on the stage, each with a label. The first bag was labeled, “All of the things that could go wrong in my next romantic relationship.” The second bag was labeled, “Negative things that people have said to me about my failed romantic relationships.” The third bag was labeled, “My fears about romantic relationships.” And the fourth bag was labeled, “Memories of my failed past relationships.”
I watched as the funny cartoon cleaning lady struggled to drag these bags off the stage and throw them in the dumpsters. Some of the bags were bigger than others. I thought for sure she would break her back carrying the fourth one—it was ginormous!
She finished the job and leaned over her mop and winked at me. And then I opened my eyes; my stage was clean and clear. I was ready to manifest the positive.
Planting Positive Seeds: Relationship Manifestation Time
All beautiful trees in the forest don’t start out that way. They start as a seed. It takes them years to put down roots, and to grow to full height, and to expand each glorious branch, each delicate twig, each unique green leaf. The result? A work of wonder and spectacular growth for us to enjoy and behold.
The same goes with a successful future relationship. I decided to visualize it as a seed that needed care, nurturing, sunlight, positive words, time, and patience in order to flourish and grow like the beautiful trees in the forest.
Next, I re-programed my brain with a positive mindset about dating and relationships. In detail, I saw, heard, and felt what it would be like to be in a happy, balanced, and successful romantic relationship. Then, I thanked God and the universe for it.
And to my ghosts—I thank you too. You taught me some valuable lessons. And you reminded me that after the darkness comes the light. And if we truly believe in having a healthy balanced relationship, and we can see it and feel it before it happens, we can manifest it and draw it into our lives one positive visualization at a time.
Next week’s blog:
Collecting God Winks & Spiritual Synchronicities: Following Your Intuition with Strangers
The songs that I listened to while writing this blog:
· 03’ Bonnie & Clyde, by Jay-Z
· Forgiveness, by Sarah McLachlan
· Butterfly, by Mariah Carey
Love,
The Intuitive Queen (aka Jennifer R. Young)