Letter #8 from The Intuitive Queen, of The Intuitive Empire (aka Jennifer R. Young)

My Dear Intuitive Friends,

First, today is my birthday! Happy Birthday to me. My intuition told me that with a 100 percent rain today, I should stay home after work and eat spiedies (an upstate New York delicacy) and homemade cake. So, I am listening to it! Ha. And apparently, Wednesday is my new weekly blog day.

In honor of my birthday, I am going to talk about some of the gifts in my life—and those gifts would be some of the friendships that have changed my life forever. 

Someone said once that in life, friendships can be a blessing or a lesson. Some friends are there for a reason or a season. Both types of friends have been gifts to me, for whether they brought me joy or taught me lessons, to all my friends—I am truly grateful. 

Apparently, I am not the only American who feels that way. According to research shows 61% of U.S. adults say having close friends is extremely or very important for people to live a fulfilling life, according to a recent Pew Research Center survey. Most adults in the US (53%) say they have between one and four close friends.  And another 38% say they have five or more friends; only 8% say they have no close friends at all.

Since our friends are important to have a fulfilling life, it’s important to choose them with care. In my opinion, it’s possible to use your intuition to find your friends or to detach with love when it’s time to let a friendship go. 

Here is a story about some of the friendships that I’ve made when I followed my intuition. These friends have changed my life for the better.

The Patient Friend: Colleen

Years ago, when I was invited to a party at Chuck E. Cheese – filled me with happiness and dread. I was happy because my oldest son is Autistic and had made a friend in his special ed integrated preschool class that was very outgoing and talkative, who was celebrating his birthday. I was happy for him to get an invite to a party. 

However, Colin nervous about all the pressure to socialize.

Frankly, back then I felt the same way he did. I was still drinking and didn’t have a lot of close friends that did not revolve around bars, dancing, and parties. I needed a close friend, and I really think God put Colleen in my life for a reason.

She was like the sun—Colleen just glowed with warmth and happiness. She was tall, poised, and adorned with beautiful silver jewelry that coordinated with her outfit. Gracefully, like a swan, she wove in and out of the clusters of parents, calmly talking and laughing. Incredibly and admirably, she remained calm despite the chaos of the roar of the Chuck E Cheese animated characters, and the laughter and tears of children running…everywhere!

I wanted to be like her and be around the light that radiated from her. My intuition told me to ask her and her son to a playdate. My intuition was telling me to pursue a friendship, but my fear kept trying me to ignore it.

I thought, “I’d like to be her friend – but she must have so many friends. She probably doesn’t need one more.”

Our sons wanted to have a get together “play date” so the universe threw us together again a week after the party. I could have dropped Colin off at the play center and not stayed; Colleen offered to stay with them if I was busy.

I decided to follow my intuition.

I found out that day, while the kids were knee-deep in a ball pit, and Colleen and I sat sipping coffee, that Colleen thought the same about me. She thought I was outgoing, and kind and she wanted to be my friend too. Thus, ours became a friendship that would dramatically change the course of my life.

While our sons played in ball pits and indoor playgrounds, we began to exchange stories: she was a recovering alcoholic and I was a drinker. She would tell me tales of recovery meetings and sober dating, and I would share my mess—and let her know what happened on my nightly escapades with my single mom neighbors.

She knew I qualified for a recovery program, but she never said one word to me. Patient as a saint, Colleen kept inviting us out and listening to me, never telling me that I needed help, but praying that I’d eventually realize it myself. 

My intuition kept telling me to listen to Colleen. Many times, after describing a recovery meeting to me, she would invite me to go to a meeting with her to “support her” and “understand her.” I’d always say, “Yes, someday I’ll go with you for sure.”

For fun, she would give me a test in her literature to see if I had a problem with drinking. It was a series of questions, such as, “Have you ever had issues with alcohol?” and “Have you ever gotten in trouble with drinking?” 

In those days, I’d lie, of course; I didn't realize I had a problem and if I suspected it I surely wasn't ready to admit it then. She must have known this and so she just kept giving me the quiz, “for fun,” she’d say.

One morning, the last morning I woke up with a hangover, I called her and asked her to take a test again. I took the test, and this time answered the questions honestly. Then, I said, “I need to support you. Why don’t I go with you to a meeting?” 

And I went with her. The rest is history. Other than becoming a mom, that day was the beginning of the greatest journey of my life. 

Despite my mind’s protestations, my fear about Colleen not needing me in her life, I listened to my intuition and just kept trusting that our friendship was happening for a reason. I was correct. She was the only recovering alcoholic that I had ever met. I don’t like to think about what my life would have turned out like if I had not followed my intuition and became friends with Colleen.

Lean on Me: Through the Good Times and the Hard Times

When I got into recovery, I had to leave many of my other surface-level friends behind. These were people who I went out to “have fun” with but who did not know me on a deeper level. I didn’t even know myself on a very deep level at that time, but that is another story. 

There was one friend, who did not drink alcoholically who always kept an eye on me when I was out drinking. That friend, Maria, was a neighbor and a true gift in my life. 

My intuition told me to keep her in my life when I was in recovery. Instead of drinking alcohol together, we started to sit on our porches and drink coffee. We started talking more about our lives.

I remember one day that first winter sober, I was depressed and missing my son Colin who had gone for the weekend to his dad’s house. I laid on my couch and tried to isolate myself on that snowy weekend, preferring the fire and coffee to facing the world. Maria sensed I was alone too much and insisted that I go sledding with her and her two sons near George Mason University.

Despite my arguments and excuses, she persisted, and soon we were sledding down the biggest of hills in red saucer sleds, with our scarfs blowing behind us, like a couple of girls instead of moms. The laughter was contagious.

When I stopped going to the salon to save money, Maria offered to color my hair for me. When I wanted to go to meetings and needed a sitter, she or her sons would watch Colin for me. No matter what challenge that I faced, small or large, Maria was there for me.

Words cannot express how grateful I am for her; everyone should have a friend like Maria. I will never forget those days in Fairfax or the endless hours of laughter and coffee on my porch and hers. 

Young Again: Friends Through Laughter and Tears

I met Maggie in 2018. I just walked in the room, and a mutual friend of ours introduced us. She just felt familiar. I felt like we were going to be like family; my intuition told me, and I could not explain it—I just had a feeling. We started to become friends from day one.

Over the years my intuition has proven me correct about her. Maggie and I have a rare ability to travel together (we are like Thelma and Louise minus the law breaking or going over the cliff,), we laugh like kids together, and we are consistently there to listen to one another through good times and bad. 

We’ve survived hitting a deer together, after a night of star gazing in a field eating candy like kids. Then there was the time I got so sick while driving in a one-lane traffic over the Chesapeake Bay Bridge, me holding the wheel and her holding a bag. We’ve taken trains together, a cruise, and watched the sunsets no the Delaware beaches and on Chincoteague in Virginia while sipping coffee. But some of my favorite memories of her are just laughing and talking over a cup of coffee in her kitchen or mine. Or talking about some subject we are wrestling with and then walking into a room and hearing people talk about that same topic and being in awe at just how amazingly connected this universe truly is. 

When I had a medical procedure during the pandemic, Maggie who used to work as a nurse, helped bandage my arms and took care of me each week at a time when many people did not dare to even visit one another inside other people’s houses. And when I struggled with mysterious breathing issues this year and couldn’t exercise or talk well—she would reach out to me at each step of my illness, my surgery, and my healing. In fact, after my surgery when I could breathe normally and talk without gasping, she was my first 3-hour phone call! 

She is one of my best friends and her birthday is a week from today. Happy Birthday ahead Maggie!

Songs I listened to While Writing this Blog:

“Lean on Me,” by Bill Withers

“Faithfully,” by Journey

“I Just Called to Say I Love You,” by Stevie Wonder

Next year, since it will be less than 2 weeks before Christmas, I will end the intuition and relationships and do a series on intuition and gifts. And I don’t mean ones you can buy in the store! Until then.

Love,

Jenn, The Intuitive Queen, of The Intuition Empire